How positive thinking can avoid anger and frustrations in daily life
A while back now I was in the car with a friend, who shall remain nameless, and we were driving along a country lane (myself the driver, my friend the passenger), and we came face to face with another car. There was not enough room for us to pass, and this car had literally just passed a part of the road which it could've stopped at and given us both room to pass. But he hadn't, and he also didn't look like there was going to be any attempt at reversing just a smidge to allow this to happen.
Within seconds I put my car into reverse and commented how I'd just reverse back down the road to an area we had passed bit further down. No big deal, I'm a confident driver and who knows why this man hadn't attempted it. He looked like he was maybe elderly and perhaps he wasn't as confident in reversing. Or maybe he didn't see the space just behind.
My passenger was getting irate. 'How dare this person be so rude', 'he needs a piece of my mind', 'maybe he shouldn't be on the road'. This person, to them, was being extremely selfish and inconsiderate.
This situation popped into my mind again recently and I thought how interesting it is how different people can see situations, but also how negative thinking can have such a big impact on our life.
In that situation I just reverse, let the person pass, and get on with my day. Forgotten. If it is that the other driver is simply selfish, then really that's their problem. Why would I let their attitude ruin my day?!
Giving a piece of our mind or dwelling on it would achieve nothing other than making us feel angry and frustrated. Not nice emotions, feelings, and thoughts to have. We cannot make other people's behaviour our problem. Who knows, they may even feed on drama, and then if we retaliate, they have won. If it is that they're not confident in reversing, then we have helped them in that situation and not made it into a big deal, like they may have experienced previously and made them feel nervous in such situations.
My passenger and I continued with a conversation about this as we passed the car. My passenger commented on how they can't help getting wound up in such situations. Often, we don't realise that we really can help habits like these, how we react and respond. It's all down to our thinking, and it can be habit to take our thoughts as gospel. We all have negative thoughts, but if we hear these and believe them then they can cause more damage than they're worth. Our thoughts really do create our world. However you see the world, is the world you shall see.
As an example, if it were that you often put yourself down and think you're not good enough, then you will see situations to back this up - you could see this person not moving their car as that they are a selfish person, they think they're better then you and you're not good enough for them to treat you with respect, when in reality that's your thought about yourself and not inline with the real situation at hand.
Or perhaps, you could feel that other people should behave a certain way because you do. I agree that we should always be kind and treat others how we wish to be treated, but if we muddle through life getting upset every time someone doesn't act the way we want them to then we're in for some unsettling times. We are all different people and each come with our own values and beliefs. What's important to us, may not be important to another and we need to be open and accepting to that, otherwise life may be fairly miserable.
We can never assume another person's thinking and reasons for their behaviour. Who knows why they behave a certain way and take certain actions. We cannot let other's affect our happiness and daily life.
Reactions like that to the car we came across can be habits built up over years. They could even go back to childhood, or simply from starting to have negative thoughts about certain situations and they simply continue and continue. But, we can change the way we react and deal with them. And, as mentioned, it's all down to our thoughts. That's pretty exciting if you ask me. If right now you thought, you know I'm unhappy about this part of me, I want to react to those situations in a more positive way and not let it bother me from now on. Then you could. Admittedly, it may take time if it's become a deep rooted habit, and change will only happen if we start to work on our thoughts. Almost like a bystander at times. Our thoughts are what become our reality. Change won't happen by magic, if we want to change then we can, but we do need to work on it.
I know this because I have also changed in ways how I am and how I react to certain things. Deep rooted habits can still pop back to any of us on occasion, especially if we are going through challenging times, but I know that I can only bring myself back to positivity and balance if I work on my myself and my mind again. If I don't, and simply carry on living day in day out, nothing will change.
'You cannot live a positive life with a negative mind'.
I remember the day after this situation occurred, I was driving again down a country lane and a car had pulled over for the car in front of me who was a little further down but not far, so I carried on, assuming they'd let me pass too as it was the easiest option, but they suddenly pulled out after the car in front and I was forced to go up the verge and our wing mirrors gently tapped. Now even the positive mind in me felt there was no excuse really for this person's behaviour. Perhaps they were having a bad morning. Still, I muttered to myself in a calm tone that it was 'very silly' and carried on my journey. Forgotten. Other than momentarily seeing the humour from the day before's conversation and appreciating how working on my mind has given me a laid back attitude to life, which does not allow other's to dictate my happiness.
Here's to happy driving! ;)